Saturday, August 27, 2016

Open up, liberate... and start living.

"(...) Imagine you’ve got a hosepipe that’s twisted and you’re trying to water a garden. No water comes out. If you don’t untwist the hosepipe, the garden eventually wilts and dies, right? Now your secrets act like a twist in the hosepipe that allows aliveness to flow through your life. And unless we untwist the hosepipe by exposing ourselves and sharing our secrets, will always live with some form of a garden that’s wilting, some form of numbness.

(...) The dictionary defines aliveness as having life, living, not dead or lifeless. It’s that feeling you get when you go up to somebody you really really really like and you ask them on a first date. (...) we’ve become so good at looking outside of ourselves to get off fix of aliveness, that we’ve forgotten we can self-generate it in any moment.
"

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Home

There's a place where we don't feel alone and that place is home.

Cowardness is hiding behind a fake persona all the things you believe, care, love and dream. Cowardness is watching life changing right in front of your eyes and all you do is turn your face to the other side.

I've been a coward, much through ignorance and fear. But this world does not let you pass by indifferent or untouched. Sooner or later, your fears will be speaking for you and your ignorance will become your solitude.

Don't be a coward anymore and open yourself to Life. Life is indeed full of surprises and traps. We choose rather to be honest with ourselves or not, but all the rest is beyond our comprehension. I do believe there is a reason behind all, but we inflict so much pain and anger on others and ourselves that we miss the sweet and deeper origin of everything that exists: Love, the deep appreciation for a kind smile, a kind word, a sunset, a memory.

Love is the origin of everything we know and it's impossible that there's an end to all of this, a black, empty space of non-existence. I really believe we go back to where we are from, back to our Origin, back to Love, that place "where we don't feel alone, that place is home"


... We'll "see" each other again...

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

In the Dark

... when wondering through her memories felt like walking into a pitch black room, full of sharp corners. "... You were right Selma, listen to your Heart"

Blindness is a condition of the eyes because science it's not interested in studying non-physical existences, but there's blindness in thinking too.

Listen to your heart, when your mind is seeing something else. The Heart will never be blind for it never has had eyes, so it doesn't need them. It can see far more than we imagine because it feels.

I feel, you feel, he and she feels, we feel and they feel.


Saturday, August 6, 2016

Kindfullness

Our mind says it's too hard, our heart that it's essential and our soul/spirit is begging us! please, please be "kind, gentle, true... but not in a lazy way, please, do the work, go deep, find out what you are really about."

Oh, that question... That same, very old and very not simple question: what am I doing here?

Life, this one right here & now, is about the lessons we learn, but Life as a primary school teacher, it does not make things simpler or sweeter and so we as students, after any lesson, just keep adding up more questions and making up our "own" conclusions and of course, once in awhile, we wonder what can we really rely on?

The basic generally accepted ideas about our purpose and reason behind our choices and what follows after a lesson is "taught" is that we all want recognition, respect and we all want to feel loooooved.

But then we make it complicated (or not) with too many distinctions, titles between people, half truths, half honesty, half loves. Ok, we need structure, a certain hierarchy but shouldn't it always be based on the notion that everybody is important?

Hey, let's start there. Everyone is important, so You are important (despite the mistakes and wrongdoings, don't let cynicism hold you back here). We all deserve a chance in Life to change, to be forgiven and start again, this time a little "smarter" hopefully...

We also seem to believe that who we are is who we will always be for the rest of our lives, and this happens when we’re 8, 16, in our 20s, 30s, 40s… But we change so much. Dan Gilbert, psychologist says it as it is, "we start by pursuing pleasure, than success and later in Life, we pursue honesty". Word.

When we study we read things that were written in the Past and so of course we give a lot of importance to what happened, but if we put too much attention into that Past, what real chances can our imagination have to strive and inspire our Life, as it thinks in possibilities, Future maybes and why nots?

We're all looking for inspiration, but we keep searching for it in things that happened. Inspiration comes from a different source, out of time. Knowledge yes, it comes from the Past, and yes, study, be an informed person, don't let yourself be so easily manipulated, be aware, be smart, there's so much mass manipulation in society (here's something that we don't even have the imagination to picture the means and ways that big € groups imagine to "guard" the flock).

Long time ago Plato asked, "…why should we not calmly and patiently review our own thoughts, and thoroughly examine and see what these appearances in us really are?"

... why not? Maybe because we feel a bit of fear. Fear that suddenly everything that we know will change, be unsure, not right. Well there's a name for that fear: denial.

Life is a constant change and will always, always surprise you. Nothing is sure. Our only power and self-reliable truth is who we are right now and our openness to the unexpected.

Everywhere we hear about mindfulness, to quiet our mind, questions, being mindful, but I believe we should change that concept into Kindfullness...

"I started talking because I had studied environment. I’d studied environment at this formal level, but there was this informal level. And the informal level - I learned about people, and what we do and how we are. And environment changed from just being about trees and birds and endangered species to being about how we treated each other. Because if we are the environment, then all we need to do is look around us and see how we treat ourselves and how we treat each other."
_
John Francis: Walk the earth ... my 17-year vow of silence

Let's ask questions and make an effort to answer them, but don't just stop there. Share it, exchange, connect, listen, read and learn, and expect to be wrong about some things, but not about your motivation, your source. Above all, make your actions and words always come from a place of Love a place of Kindfullness.



Friday, July 22, 2016

Our Life After

In search for a grandiose, beautiful and strong tree, where I could rest under and meditate, I've found so many infant trees, thin and small, striving to survive. All of them so full of potential to develop into what nature intended them to be and multiply.

Unfortunately I kept looking for that special tree, instead of nurturing the ones that I had found.

We go through life with the same attitude. Searching for perfection, for the best shelter but blind to see the inner beauty of everything we're so lucky to encounter.

We don't think that much about those old experiences until age or wisdom give us a broader perspective and we finally appreciate what Life is really made off, which is the path we walked, the people we encountered, the choices we made. We could have chosen to be generous or greedy; kind or bitter; open or afraid, whatever we we chose defines us.

But we have a spirit, which is free and non bodily. A spirit that has a home to come back to and where it's forgiven and embraced. So we are ultimately free from all the darkness and sadness that consumed our dreams. But we are here now. And now is when we can choose between giving Love or responding with Hate.

Over and over I wrote for us to choose Love, but seeing now from afar, I have chosen self love. Love for my actions, my words, my friends, my, my, my... so self centered, so narcissistic. Maybe that's why noone has really resisted to the ultimate selfies fashion. You see them everywhere, selfie sticks, selfie apps, self grandiosity.

This self that is undermined by an emotionally bipolar Ego. An Ego that runs from accountability and it's fast in blaming circumstances instead of itself, for the sake of an healthy self-esteem.

But man has found religion to calm down it's internal turmoil and impetuous nature, trying to address the problems of life and love, death and sorrow, the universe and our place in it, what it means to have an “I” and what the meaning of existence might be... and it all comes down to one word: GOD.

And even though we don't have the means to prove an existence of beyondness, we are also not capable of living without. We need connectedness, we need to be a part of, we need to be seen, touched, loved. No one is immune to loneliness or a warm hug. No one.

... so instead of searching for the perfect match, the perfect theory, the perfect circumstance, context, situation, let's search for the meaning in our gestures and ask for forgiveness, forgiveness for our ignorance but with the conviction that we are becoming better, and we are helping our close ones to be better. What do you really believe? And are you alone in that? If not, congratulate the ones that listen to you, care for you and in the same way that you make mistakes and learn from them, allow others to make their mistakes without abandoning them, being there to embrace them again. This is Love, this is Humbleness, this is being Wise.



(...)
"At one seminar where I was speaking on the concept of proactivity, a man came up and said, "Stephen, I like what you're saying. But every situation is so different. Look at my marriage. I'm really worried. My wife and I just don't have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don't love her anymore and she doesn't love me. What can I do?"
"The feeling isn't there anymore?" I asked.
"That's right," he reaffirmed. "And we have three children we're really concerned about. What do you suggest?"
"Love her," I replied.

"I told you, the feeling just isn't there anymore."
"Love her."
"You don't understand. The feeling of love just isn't there."
"Then love her. If the feeling isn't there, that's a good reason to love her."
"But how do you love when you don't love?"
"My friend, love is a verb. Love -- the feeling -- is a fruit of love the verb. So love her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?"

In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling. They're driven by feelings. Hollywood has generally scripted us to believe that we are not responsible, that we are a product of our feelings. But the Hollywood script does not describe the reality. If our feelings control our actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsibility and empowered them to do so. Proactive people make love a verb. Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world. If you want to study love, study those who sacrifice for others, even for people who offend or do not love in return. If you are a parent, look at the love you have for the children you sacrificed for. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values. Love, the feeling, can be recaptured.
"
_
In "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Monday, July 4, 2016

Aloneness

Only when we're alone, undressed from all the should's and must's, do we really find ourselves to be. Letting the world speak in its own voice and letting this deeper sense of yourself speak out. To lose our periphery, our ego, and let the vast untamed reality be us. To feel lost but found at the same time.

That's why we find it difficult to turn the radio off, or the television, or not look at our gadget — we're afraid to lose our sense of direction, purpose or meaning, but that's exactly when we find it.

We have so many allies in this world to bring us back the sense of real belongingness, unconditional belonging. Just today an amazing red sun, reflected in some gentle and playful clouds, no wind...

SWEET DARKNESS

When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.
When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.
It’s time to go into the night
where the dark has eyes
to recognize its own.
It’s time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.
There you
can be sure
you are not beyond love.
The dark will make a home for you tonight.
The night
will give you a horizon
further than you can see.
You must learn one thing.
The world was made to be free in.
Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.
Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn
anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
is too small for you.

_
David Whyte

Can we really change? Transform?
It is said that transformational change occurs when our foundational understanding of ourselves and the world around us significantly shifts. A transformation occurs when we go beyond the bounds of our current understanding and awareness. We cannot think our way through this change; we have to experience our way into it.

When we are no longer able to change a situation,
we are challenged to change ourselves.” 
_
Viktor E. Frankl

Sunday, June 26, 2016

The purpose of our Life?

How will you serve the World? What are you good at that could serve others?

"... the effect on others is the most valuable currency there is (...) that piece we're after is beyond our persona, alter-ego... let the armour go. The need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Risk being seen in all of your glory! (...) Our eyes are not just viewers, they are also projectors, running a second story (...) and we have two choices, Love or Fear... choose Love. (...) all there is is now, right now."

Choose... and go for it. Focus. Believe. Trust.

Friday, June 24, 2016

Integral

In nowadays it's getting more and more often that the word Integral is out there. People are choosing to eat integral, wear, read, listen integral stuff. You'll hear/read the word Integral in this and that almost as often as we can hear the word "baby" in a song.

... ok, it can mean a bunch of things too. In a sentence, Integral shows up when we want to highlight something that is necessary to make a whole complete; essential or fundamental.

So this thought leads me into asking, how can we also become/feel Integral?

Remember when you were a little brat, with no distinction between what was inside or outside of yourself, when there was absolutely no question about being or not accepted by the world, you were, simple as that. No need to cover up feelings... wholeness, integrity.

But as adults, who really feels integral with the world? Why as we grow up do we learn that it might not be safe to express our true identity, feelings and beliefs.

Everyone has some piece of him/herself that it's hidden from the world, and we do our best to keep it that way. We try to play a role that is acceptable. But that gap, between reality and self perception, usually leads to some pain, some regret, some sadness... We want to show up in the world as our true self, and leave this world feeling successful in that.

The desire to show up, to be more in the world with our true value, our truthness, with our true gifts, a not divided Life, that is fulfillment, and we all know how much better we get to be in society, be it in your work, your family or relationship, when we are free in our mind and spirit.

Again, connection is only possible when we show up in the world as we are, and not as we think others expect us to be.

"The heart is the path to wisdom because it dares to be vulnerable in the presence of power"
― 
Terry Tempest Williams

Let's be Integral in our choices. The world is full of good intentions, but if we don't actually do them, what good are they? We're not here just to be storytellers of other's lives.

Each of us has value. I have value, you have value, the person in front of you has value.
Feel your Heart, for it's really the place to understand what's worth fighting for... We can come up with lots of theories about this or that, but our Heart knows best where we should channel our energy.

Lets be Brave and grow our own capacity to express our deepest humanity, especially in places where it seems unwelcome.

Are we fully present in the world with our Integrity? 
It's not about perfection! It's about showing up "naked", with our natural humanity. Nobody is born with an empty self, but we can end up empty...

I wish there were more safe places for people to express their true selves. There's a voice of truth inside each of us, soulfullness. But we fear. We fear we might get fired, we fear we might lose friends or partners if we show ourselves completely. But we are beings before our "doings" or "status".

We want to be seen, respected, loved. Can you truly say, I Love you?

Like a wild animal, the soul is tough, resilient, resourceful, savvy, and self-sufficient: it knows how to survive in hard places. I learned about these qualities during my bouts with depression. In that deadly darkness, the faculties I had always depended on collapsed. My intellect was useless; my emotions were dead; my will was impotent; my ego was shattered. But from time to time, deep in the thickets of my inner wilderness, I could sense the presence of something that knew how to stay alive even when the rest of me wanted to die. That something was my tough and tenacious soul.”
― 
Parker J. Palmer



Monday, June 13, 2016

Optimal state of Mind

Most of the time one wonders why does the mind persist in staying sad, in quitting, in being confused and going mad! But what if we asked the other way around... how does the mind manage to stay normal, despite the multiple processes and changes it goes through? We're restless... some get to meditate, but I dare to say that not so many of us are able to do it, to peacefully quiet the mind and heart.

Scientist will call these lesser than optimal states of mind as possible non optimal configurations... Indeed, they are non-optimal.

But we have an awesome power that too often is undermined by its lack of structure, ruling and consistency: Imagination.

One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision.
_
Bertrand Russel

Imagination allows us to create a different reality, empowers by surpassing what might hurt us and pull us down through imagining that impossible things can be possible, and they can... it's a whole new world that opens up in front of our mind eyes.

We can change... we can overcome and comeback. We can change, but to do that we can't believe in the same things we were taught to believe. We have to listen to our silliest laugh, to our trickiest smile, to our fantasy of being completely seduced by those "silly" ideas that come up into our attention which, in pure cowardness, we prefer to quiet them down.

Care less about what you will look like if you do this or that. Make it for yourself, for your own pleasure. Allow yourself to be delighted and then share! Yes, share with thankfulness for Life's amazing opportunities to experience beauty, to learn and grow.

Unfortunately we are taught too early to play in a certain way, within certain boundaries or we might risk loneliness, frustration and of course, punishment. So we keep on living respecting all the learnt rules without ever questioning. Why should we respect or even love another person besides the obvious ones... You must have your space and I have mine. Is this what you call belief?

What can we learn if we don't dare to break some "rules", if we don't dare to speak our mind, if we don't question and allow our imagination to open new "doors of perception".

I dare you to break the rules and desire. Desire, and feel pleasure.

"The human soul is hungry for beauty… When we experience the Beautiful, there is a sense of homecoming. Some of our most wonderful memories are beautiful places where we felt immediately at home. We feel most alive in the presence of the Beautiful for it meets the needs of our soul."
_
John O’Donohue

We are always haunted by the myth of our potential, of what we might have it in ourselves to be or do… We share our lives with the people we have failed to be. Let's stop living frustrated for not being the amazing version of ourselves and let's return to that kid that ran and laughed simply, unequivocally (we didn't even know what that meant!), who cared because he/she could feel when someone just like him was feeling fear, pain or embarrassment. We were no more or less that the boy or girl sitting by our side. We were and we had fun.

"If somebody treats you with unkindness, it’s likely they have endured similar treatment in the past from others, and are only repeating unconscious patterns in search of a love they cannot find. They will continue to repeat until they wake up from their nightmare of projection, and truly see who you are, who they are, who we all are.
An excuse? No.
A way to begin to find compassion for them, to stop taking their behaviour so personally and so seriously, to begin to break the cycle of violence? Perhaps. And that ‘perhaps’ is everything when it comes to loving each other.
"

 Jeff Foster 




Monday, May 30, 2016

Has Life also become a task?

Where you put your Heart and Attention, that’s what you’re going to Feel.

Hanging between anxiety and depression, how many times does one feel fear of failure, but have no urge in being productive… or care about so many things, but realises that in the end nothing really matters.

Wanting, wishing, praying for meaning 
and having to conform with life’s absurdity…

But where you put our Heart and Attention, that’s what we’re going to Feel.

(…)
No point in looking back
Over your shoulder
Leave your worries behind
For a while
You'll forget everything
_
Junip - Your Life, Your Call

Has Life also become a task?
What are we doing, why are we in such a rush to go nowhere?

What will be the good of the conquest of leisure and health, if no one remembers how to use them?” Bertrand Russell asked in his 1926

Living under a unrelenting cult of workaholism and productivity, where do our souls go?

The more inventions and speeding mechanism we create, the faster we’re driving and rushing. We feel like we have less time. Where’s the contemplative, excellent digestion “future man”, described by George Eliot in 1880, the stout gentleman “…of quiet perceptions, undiseased by hypothesis; happy in his inability to know the causes of things, preferring the things themselves.

We were supposed to be creating a world where everybody had a reasonable chance of happiness.

… hey, focus on your Heart. It looks for kindness, value and sweet simple pleasures, even when everything else says it’s foolish or childish. Focus your attention on you Heart, and make those tiny little dreams come true. Simplicity it’s not easy, but takes you back to that nice place where you are nowhere else but present and alive.

Happiness is also a practice, it needs both learning and constant maintenance. In some studies they’ve seen that Happiness diminishes as we transition from childhood to adulthood and then starts rising as we grow wrinkles and acquire gray hair. Why is it?… Maybe because we stop taking our attitudes so seriously and stop worrying about who we should be and we simply are?


Because in the end “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives (..) There is no shortage of good days. It is good lives that are hard to come by. A life of good days lived in the senses is not enough. The life of sensation is the life of greed; it requires more and more. The life of the spirit requires less and less; time is ample and its passage sweet. Who would call a day spent reading a good day? But a life spent reading — that is a good life.
_
Annie Dillard

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

on Meaning

... what do you mean, what do you really mean?
I want to know, I need to know.

"What do you mean"... when you act in a certain way, when you say the things you say.
- My dear, you mean nothing to me.
Boom, punch in your stomach! Neck squeezed and head detachment possibly...
...
...
Why?!
Because to mean something, for someone, for a reason, for ourselves is our number one thing. We want/need to mean something, to have a definition, to make sense and of course, to be important in someone's life. 

But too often we forget that meaning starts with ourselves, with our own release and breakthrough.

We all have one meaningful song, thought, book, picture, spoken word and moment. More than one hopefully. And when we recapitulate who we believe we are, those are the moments that occur to our brain as defining of who we are. So when we're just killing time and waiting for life to happen, we are creating a void, an unmeaningful void... 

It's not about having an awesome inspiration on what your Life's purpose might be, but instead, really bluntly and honestly defining what's important to do with your time here. What can you do with your time that's important? or just for the sheer joy of it.

If you could speak with your old 8-year old self and he/she asked you, why did you stop writing, drawing or playing, and you answered, because I'm not good enough, or I have to pay my bills, or because no one else cares about it, how do you think your old self would feel? Would he/she cry? ... If so, don't give up on your dreams and fantasies. Take some time for yourself, play again...

We need to feel we have meaning. To feel that somehow we make a difference, we add up something to this world, something good, and that we will be remembered as someone dear to some...

Find meaning and let yourself be vulnerable. Being vulnerable is actually a very sexy thing, it "is usually downright uncomfortable. But that’s OK. Because being vulnerable in your interactions creates a greater deal of trust and intimacy, removes games and ambiguity, creates sexual tension through bold behaviors, accelerates sexual and romantic relationships, builds self-esteem and (usually) demonstrates confidence to the other person."
_
Mark Manson

Let's be authentic, accountable and unconditionally vulnerables.

Know, accept and appreciate yourself. Have one sweet loving & sexy relationship with yourself, and make that inner 8-year old happy again. Find all the meanings you need to smile, love and live, for "The greatest gift you can give somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, "If you will take care of me, I will take care of you. "Now I say, I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me.
_
Jim Rohn

And now, let yourself go with this amazing performance: Ólafur Arnalds - improvisations
... wow, on repeat...

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

On Hope… and the power of words.

Hope is a feeling, the somewhat painful expectation and desire for something to happen. We hope to come back; we hope to start or finish, we hope to surpass, to conquer and win, we hope to get it or leave it behind us. We Hope but we will lie to ourselves if we need to believe in it. So how good is to have Hope? It doesn’t push us forward to fight and look for a solution, it keeps you waiting, it seduces you into inaction, it retrieves power from you, who like any old leaf stands waiting to fall and be taken away by the wind.

Remember Pandora’s Box? Pandora opened the jar and all the evils flew out, leaving only Hope inside once it was closed again… what does that mean? Why was Hope trapped with all other evils…?

Pandora was created by the Gods to please Zeus, who wanted a Godlike woman. Hephaestus, the smith god from beneath the Earth, made her from Earth mixed with water; Athena, goddess of wisdom, taught her crafts and weaving; Aphrodite, goddess of love, gave her irresistible charm; Hermes, god of imagination, gave her a deceitful nature, persuasion… curiosity… because of her curious nature she didn’t resist to see what was inside the box…

Sometimes we can be having such a nice sweet dream that we actually might wish to wake up to see if its real. We expect it to be real. Hope is expectation, an illusion.

Is being hopeful a good thing? The higher you dream, greater the fall…

When we look into our inner mirrors and think there’s not much to hope for, either Love, growth, or safety, then we have lost our “lust for life”, and that is dangerous. Not only because it makes us disconnect from our feelings, but also because, right at the core, it’s a lie. We always Hope to be rescued, like food for the soul we imagine and fantasise a sweeter, happier Life

We always Hope, otherwise we’re just surviving… 
Are we just surviving? … 

If it weren’t for the dreams one sighs for and love, then yes, we would be just surviving, as it’s usually said after a couple of wine glasses, a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.

We have to Hope, if not we would have to quit our struggles, and it’s those struggles to the top in themselves that can fill our Heart with the Love and energy to do better, greater and share. “Without the dark, we'd never see the stars.” 

video