Monday, April 16, 2018

E depois da queda, repousar


São as mesmas caras de sempre, apesar da curiosidade. Com vontade de se aventurar de forma reservada.
Criatividade com cautela…?

Não me levo nem a sério, nem a brincar

Somos livros dentro de livros, histórias que se sobrepõem, que se apagam na ilegibilidade de não se conseguir mais as compreender, e ainda assim, restam tantos espaços em branco.

Magoamo-nos mais quando o fazemos sozinhos, mas a culpa de fazer nascer dor no outro, também pesa.

E neste não sermos nada para ninguém, sentimos tanto peso.

De costas deixa-se de ver, talvez se pressinta, se oiça ou cheire, mas são os olhos que ganham nesta luta entre o que aconteceu e o que foi dito. Se escolhemos estar de costas é porque a antecipação de sentir já nos assusta.

É isto que é preocupar-se. Ocupamo-nos do outro, que é dizer amar, ocuparmo-nos um do outro. Mas depois, porque isto de viver civilizadamente introduz-nos leis que a nossa natureza não entende, deixamos de conseguir sentir.

Não resisto transcrever as palavras do Chefe da tribo Tuiavii dos mares do Sul, sobre o Papalagui, o Branco, o Senhor.

Como nunca fui capaz de entender isto… julgo que se trata de uma doença grave. 
- «O tempo escapa-se-me por entre os dedos!», «O tempo corre mais veloz do que um  cavalo!», «Dá-me um pouco mais de tempo» - tais são os queixumes do homem branco.
Dizia eu que se deve tratar de uma espécie de doença... Suponhamos, com efeito, que um Branco
tem vontade de fazer qualquer coisa e que o seu coração arde de desejo por isso: que, por exemplo, lhe  apetece ir deitar-se ao sol, ou andar de canoa no rio, ou ir ver e sua bem-amada. Que faz ele então? Na maior parte das vezes estraga o prazer com esta ideia fixa: «não tenho tempo de ser feliz»"




Sunday, April 8, 2018

Is God real?


Do you believe God is real?
Or that you’re the product of someone else’s imagination?

It’s all perspective isn’t it? To look into the void and feel it’s immensity, or to be surrounded by richness and feel the emptiness in it all.

Can we be and not exist?

Usually we ask our own heart to answer these questions, as the brain immediate starts reporting error. There’s always a difficult jump to be given when we wish to join what’s on one side to the other. A jump that really scares most of us. If you become too emotional, you might lose sight on things, but if rationality is your walking stick, then you're not having any fun. We need to dance while understanding the lyrics of the song, hey, if we can even sing it while dancing, top! Don’t get shy about it… But then we do. We feel shy for showing our feelings, to show what moves us. Shy or scared? Can we be scared of what we Love? Yes, very.

Knowing that we Love is scary for it’s our highest point in Life. You can only look down from that awareness. But it’s always the very purpose of existing.

The only way to face that we don’t exist forever physically is by embracing our true colours. We are much more than what we can see. We are attachment, we are promises, we are dreams and jumps into the void, and we are a collective, like an ocean, not uniformly mixed but structured in layers with distinct properties. But all within a system. A system we did not created, invented or even put it as hypothesis. 

You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged, oh I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
The darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small…

The darkness inside ourselves can make us feel small, remember that. Don’t succumb to it. There’re other levels in this big ocean. Where there is sunlight there is life, there’s creation and exchange. Is God real? Yes, but maybe in a way that you & me can't imagine. Like so many things we have never imagined or that we can only suppose, well, to get any answer we can’t be afraid to ask. So ask! Go on, don’t be scared.



and... 




Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Zaagi

Speculative belief = rationality
Belief speculated = spirituality

... It's here on Earth that there's weight, volume, physical sensitivity. Beyond, all we know its that theres no air or gravity. We float and die if there isn't any artificial oxygen given... Two different worlds part of one single Universe. Could this be used as a metaphor for ourselves? Our inner and outer existence?

Well, long time ago, in our evolution, palaeontology period (5th bC), man in it's evolution did start to think more outside itself, and more in terms of group, expanding to rituals that marked important stages in one's individual Life, especially, it seems, in that finishing moment: death.

Painted rocks, shells, animal bones, caves, to say goodbye and celebrate the moment of one's passage into another world. This is when artists actually began evolving into carrying an important role in society, by creating group union and meaning, meaning in the natural known space and beyond.

Were they conscious of that spirituality necessity?

So little do we know about our evolution, despite the evidence that we respected values and based our whole evolution in the strength of group union and faith.

We had no idea of machines, and we grew stronger than never. Nowadays, we act as machines, but how many of us truly feels strong in their hope and faith in Life, in our neighbour, in our beliefs...

From the Aboriginal people it has been passed the legacy of important values such as in the Ojibwe People and their Seven Grandfathers: Wisdom; Love; Respect; Bravery; Honesty; Humility and Truth... just a quick side track, Love is described in the word zaagi'idiwin and represents the concept of treasure, you treasure someone, or you are treasured by someone.

... money and competition are separating us more than ever. This addiction of constant social "pings", brings us to the level of any dog in a Pavlov conditioning test, we wait and expect for a message, a like, a new feed. And we loose track of what really matters: to be and engage in reality, in a way that matters to the next generation.

Unfortunately emptiness is starting to rule most of our actions, but even though it is said to be important by meditation and yoga teachers, its not emptiness that connects you to this world, it's not emptiness that opens your arms to give care and shelter. It's Love. It's Respect. It's Honesty. It's empathy and understanding over our ignorance and repeated attempts to grow and evolve. It's Love.

Love that forgives and accepts mistakes. Love that leads you into enthusiasm, passion, excitement and joy. Love as hope. Let's not wait to make sense of things one day. The real sense for everything should be: because it feels right, it feels good and no one is hurt by your choice. We are still part of a tribe, humankind. Ask any parent, friend who has lost all they had, what is the one thing that would destroy them if gone.

"'It would not be much of a universe
if it wasn't home to the people you love."
_
Professor Hawkings



Monday, February 19, 2018

Birds flying high...

- Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!! ... she screams in silence.

Frustration.
And the realisation that once more, you did it again.

There's no possible positivity wave to be caught when, right in front of your eyes, you see that nothing changed, no growth, no freedom conquered. Where have you been? How come nothing was learned, how could you let it all happen again?...

Well, that's Life. Or our childish way of living before thinking.
It's a risk one has to take, to either follow their pseudo-intuition, our imperfect knowledge.
We know so little.

Knowledge can be read and listened to, but to actually discover life, we have to make mistakes.
Discovery is made with tears and sweat, by people who are constantly getting the wrong answer. To discover is too explore, to go beyond what/who we are supposed to be.

Why do we know more now than we knew ten thousand years ago, or even ten years ago? Is it really just because we could be smarter? Or because we have actually evolve through error and failed attempts?

Yeap, we have to go for it, for what we are searching for in order to really know ourselves.

As artists so claim, better to die of passion than to follow a Life of boredom, but pain will be your companion. Be prepared for that.

However meaningless and vain, however dead life appears, the man of faith, of energy, of warmth steps in and does something (…) If one wants to be active, one mustn’t be afraid to do something wrong sometimes, not afraid to lapse into some mistakes. To be good — many people think that they’ll achieve it by doing no harm — and that’s a lie…
_
Van Gogh

Life truly is about taking risks. When we are little it's the most obvious thing, that's why there's no day like the previous and the next day to come is a daunting task! We go through innumerable tries and fails, and do we really get discouraged? No. We expect to fail, but we also know we will get it one day!

Unfortunately all too often parents, teachers and society push us further away from taking risks by instilling fear, by punishing failure or by making success seem way too precious. 

Remember those first bike attempts? Scary! but one day we started riding them and going further way and trying new tricks. With people, and especially with Love, it's a bit more complicated than learning how to ride a bike, but it's still an adventure that can lead us into sweet trips.

"Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness."
_
Bertrand Russel


Unfortunately in today's society seems that people are no longer being loved and things just being used. Feels that things are instead now being loved and people used, all with a push of a button.

If we really don't want to feel lost, frustrated, sad, we need to follow our interests and risk making bad choices, as long as the reasons behind our choices are based on Love. But this Love can't be just a curiosity, an itch, a "we'll see what happens" sort of a thing. No, first you need to know yourself, and figure out what vibrates in you, for the best trick to making good mistakes is not to ignore them, especially from yourself. It really is "a fault to wish to be understood before we have made ourselves clear to ourselves.
_
Simone Weil


This applies on loving someone or following a life style passion.

"What makes Heroic? — To face simultaneously one’s greatest suffering and one’s highest hope (...) There is one path in the world that none can walk but you. Where does it lead? Don’t ask, walk!"
_
Friedrich Nietzsche


It really seems that the most fulfilling human projects appear inseparable from a degree of doubt, fear, anxiety, loss... Why? Because no one is able to produce without experience, nor be a great lover at the first attempt. We need to take the risk, and once we know ourselves well, follow your dream, immerse yourself.



Birds flying high
You know how I feel
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by
You know how I feel

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good
I'm feeling good
(..,)
















Sunday, February 4, 2018

We are not Individuals


"To survive you have to look good or talk good. But to end your story well - here is the truth - you have to talk yourself out of it.
_
Chris Cleave

Such big truth on a world where everyone is making their best at pretending their happy, fulfilled, in peace, in tuned with some Life purpose, and pretending that the rest of the million of people around them, are OK and don’t disturb them, don’t get on their nerves.

Separation, segregation, individuality… yes, all concepts that have been dwelled upon and debated after the misuse of the idea of community. After slavery and some sort of “we’ve found the wheel” revolution, we’ve found solitude and individualism, but what have we gained from it?

We are not individuals.

We are human beings that, as other beings, need the knowledge, the energy, the sustainability of living in a group, with a deep respect to our ancient history. We evolve, but only when we understand the path that lead us into being where we are today. To be futuristic just by the pleasure of the rush and speed that it involves, is the same as going to work just because you’ll make money. If you don’t want to find yourself empty and pathless, you need to feel a deeper meaning to the Life, you need to find joy and love (or passion) to your choices.

We usually pat ourselves on the shoulder and say to each other “just do it!”, “yes you can!”, but, most of us end up choosing out of fear, instead of Love. We will choose what seems to be the right option when faced with the fear of losing or getting hurt. Get hurt and learn from it! Get hurt, cry, feel the pain and learn. Learn about yourself and how close you actually are to others, We are not individuals, we are human beings that need to live together, need to listen and be listened, and love one another, as we should Love ourselves.

Take off you mask, show yourself, immerse yourself in the multitude of situations, problems and solutions, be part of the whole.


Saturday, January 27, 2018

"... How we measure the light of a life as it nears its sunset."


When we are little, any spare time we've got is to play, is to fall in Love with the littlest things around, from a gentle weed on the ground to a new game with our best friend. Time is something that adults measure, but not kids.

Time?

We all wish he had had the time to do, say or change something. We all wish we had the time to imagine, think and build some dream. We all wish we had the time to not feel time, but instead feel it's absence.

But we chase, non-stop, who we are suppose to be, ignorants of our continuous inner lies, that lead us into believing we must abandon our existence and chase a mirage instead.
We should just simply be. But what is this thing? To be.

"The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today… The whole future lies in uncertainty: live immediately.
_
Seneca

To be. Where we put our intentions we become. Our attention is the focus of our choices, and if we only focus on our to-do lists, never will we feel complete, in peace. How many of us finishes the day, falling into bed, proud of having completed the day’s lengthy to-do list, yet still feeling incomplete as a human being.

It's the chase...

Instead of chasing, what if we flowed like a river, and when facing an obstacle we just changed our course and went around it, still flowing where it is natural for us to be/go.

"I believe what we lack is joy. The ardor that a heightened awareness imparts to life, the conception of life as a happy thing, as a festival… But the high value put upon every minute of time, the idea of hurry-hurry as the most important objective of living, is unquestionably the most dangerous enemy of joy."
_
Herman Hesse

But it takes courage to say no, to miss an event, and finally, to just be on our own, in a healthy, playful solitude.

Please lets take our eyes of our "smart" phones, and lets appreciate the value of walking, of feeling and ultimately, of appreciating the experience of living.

"Accustom yourself every morning to look for a moment at the sky and suddenly you will be aware of the air around you, the scent of morning freshness that is bestowed on you between sleep and labor."
_
Herman Hesse



Friday, December 29, 2017

shoji: birth-death

Maybe because humans are very smart, or, well, putting it gently, are very dumb, only through the experience of the opposite do we understand what actually is true or right for us.

We’re not ok in being alone, but we probably feel uncomfortable in a crowd; we don’t have what we want or we have too much going on; we hope for settling up some roots, but having very few options makes us wish for more choices; being alive but with fear of living; searching for a cure, but wishing the strength to give up. And, want we all internally, deeply and foremost live for, Love. Aspiring for a great Love and incapables of loving ourselves.

In the realm of feeling, the productive orientation is expressed in love, which is the experience of union with another person, with all men, and with nature, under the condition of retaining one’s sense of integrity and independence. In the experience of love the paradox happens that two people become one, and remain two at the same time. Love in this sense is never restricted to one person. If I can love only one person, and nobody else, if my love for one person makes me more alienated and distant from my fellow man, I may be attached to this person in any number of ways, yet I do not love.
_
Erich Fromm

So we need to live through the idea of loss, of pain, of confusion, to appreciate where we are, how and who with. We need to be close to an end, to rethink and miss the beginning.

So maybe opposites are not so distant related. Maybe opposites are part of the same family, hyphenated, inseparable. We do know the closeness of Love and Hate, of Peace and Turbulence, of Forgiveness and Memory, of Life and Death…

In Japanese Zen, the term shoji translates as “birth-death.” There is no separation between life and death other than a small hyphen, a thin line that connects the two.

Through pain and loss we find inner love and forgiveness. We grow, in the sense that, the frontier of who we are expands into a wider reality, an immersion in the world in all its different levels, perspectives.

A warm bed when it’s cold outside…

Dying is inevitable and intimate. I have seen ordinary people at the end of their lives develop profound insights and engage in a powerful process of transformation that helped them to emerge as someone larger, more expansive, and much more real than the small, separate selves they had previously taken themselves to be. This is not a fairy-tale happy ending that contradicts the suffering that came before, but rather a transcendence of tragedy…. I have witnessed a heart-opening occurring in not only people near death, but also their caregivers. They found a depth of love within themselves that they didn’t know they had access to. They discovered a profound trust in the universe and the reliable goodness of humanity that never abandoned them, regardless of the suffering they encountered. If that possibility exists at the time of dying, it exists here and now.”
_

Frank Ostaseski

It really is when we no longer can have, that we miss.
That's why all the highlighted quotes on living in the now, to be present now, carpe diem, for me and you and everyone we know...



Sunday, December 10, 2017

Scars

Scars…

Everyone has at least one, well hidden or right at sight for anyone to see. The story behind them might be of bravery or, the opposite, forever ashamed for a wrong decision. The last one forever hurts and weights up in any future decision. 

For some, scars are reminder that they survived. For others, a reminder that they failed. But both are alive, and with that focus in mind, a deep appreciation for Life’s second chances is something we all should feel. 

You, me, we are alive, with stories to tell and simple dreams to fulfil.

Everyone has regrets, but the weight in them depends on the lesson we choose to embrace. I have regrets that will over shadow some laughs, some wishes, but I recognise them and with that in mind I hold on to second chances, and of course, more importantly, I try not to repeat them.

In the past I once chose to be selfish and blind. Even if a bit unconsciously, I chose not to see or be seen. But hiding yourself in a cave, lying to yourself about what’s really happening, will only amplify your inner fears. Because of that scar that is now present in me, I have learned that selfishness is an infertile ground, and whatever the situation we’re facing, it’s always best to say and do whatever will bring love, peace and laughter to that moment.

Then Life will continue to shape us and our reaction to things will change. If life is not an easy task, let’s find a reason to find some fulfilment: kids, partners, work, friends, mission… a good life is not about self pleasures, but most, about friends, family, social interaction. Sure, we can live some crazy adventure on our own, but sharing that story afterwards is what will give more meaning to it.
So we need LOVE.

Being crazy rich, being super smart will create a successful life, but without Love, without that understanding of others and their emotions, you’re alone.

Love, also unusually called Flow, is what will give yourself meaning. Flow and Play. Savouring what Life as to offer while embracing Life’s challenges, while being mindfulness of what is out and inside you. And being present. Being present in our friends life, in our loved ones lives, being cheerful with gratitude for Life’s second chance to get it right this time.

Attention without feeling … is only a report.

The end of life has its own nature, also worth our attention. I don’t say this without reckoning in the sorrow, the worry, the many diminishments. But surely it is then that a person’s character shines or glooms.
_
Mary Oliver


We are all close to an end, for Life always seems to short in time. whatever is that we are dwelling on, let’s find the compassion to forgive, to understand and to give a second chance. We all need each other, we all need to be loved, we all need to find some fulfilment and purpose in Life. If not, we stay sad and feel as outsiders, and too soon we’ll give up. Don’t give up, face your scars and praise them for your strength in surviving them.

A scar does not form on the dying. A scar means I survived.
—  Chris CleaveLittle Bee 

Sunday, November 26, 2017

An "us" fading away, Nature being smogged.

In a time where the big “me” is being unveiled, highlighted, elected to power, there’s an “us” that fades away and looses presence. And for most, this is a time of wealth and innovation, in a way, some pseudo-independence feeling circles around, but so much poverty and emptiness is present, and it’s not even hidden, we are all aware of it, we see and feel it, but there’s no “us” anymore, so in a “myself” society we’re supposed to let others solve their own troubles.

It’s important to cultivate self-wisdom and a real voice for our dreams and beliefs, but that is a self-homework that one must do if it really wants to discover his/hers mission, path in life. That growth has to be done on your own, but the tools and experiences are all part of a common reality. We are not born alone or experience life alone. We live together.

Have we forgotten that we share the same nature? Well, we haven’t, as there are so many fights about the differences people choose to find in order to build their own group identity. Because we are so alike we actually have this need to distinguish and extoll the differences in thought.

But we share the same nature. This word that should always be written in caps lock, Nature. It derives from the Latin word natus which means birth. It refers to the inherent, what everything is born with. Trees inherently will have seeds, the immanent nature of the sea is to be in constant motion, sensitive to is other half, the sky, and in permanent courtship with earth’s land.

Our nature is not to live in single communion with an ego that is sustained by should’s and fed demands. We are humans, animals with a high degree of intelligence, that have progressed into building cities and learning places for a continued evolution. Sadly in that process, we have engaged in an ever more highlighted conflict and contest between who is stronger, faster and flexible. And so our Nature has evolved into the maturation of the individual, the “me” that must shine through it’s differences with others, with it’s amazing unique ways, the “me” that is closed to maintenance, it’s open for exhibition, a “me” that can not ever be ordinary, and so, very hardly, can it belong to a collective “us”.

Unfortunately the joy of growing seeds of compassion and dropping them in fertile ground, has become not our Nature, but a choice. Some choose to turn their back to the rush of the modern world and become helpful guides, shoulders of comfort, others choose to study and engage in changes that are based in written statements, others follow a vision that will bring them the wealth they believe to need and deserve, but whatever path, for everyone it’s a choice, an individual mindful choice. Where’s our true Nature in our choices? Is it embraced with the whole? … Not anymore.

Let’s know ourselves, without loosing site of our common nature.

Last but not least, I dare to say that the main reason we are getting a lot more turn into that “myself” is because we are getting more afraid of feeling. To feel, to compromise, to fully commit and let who we really be seen and become “vulnerable”.

Relationship is the fundamental truth of this world of appearance
_
Tagore (Indian Poet)
"We shape our self to fit this world
and by the world are shaped again.
The visible and the invisible working
together in common cause,
to produce the miraculous.

I am thinking of the way the intangible
air passed at speed round a shaped wing
easily holds our weight.
So may we, in this life trust
to those elements we have yet to see or imagine,
and look for the true shape of our own self,
by forming it well to the great
intangibles about us."
_
David Whyte
David Whyte - Working Together

















Friday, November 17, 2017

Self-forgetful

He closed his eyes, recoiling into his fear of a total misunderstanding of himself and the world. It didn't feel wrong to shut down and disappear from what it seemed to be an overweighted reality that everyone else just accepted and juggled around. It had to be him who was wrong. It was him who couldn’t figure out how to be heard, how to clearly listen, how to direct and sustain a fast paced modern living. It had to be him who had lost his ideologies and baseline values. So what else could he do besides moving away from what he thought he knew, and some even loved?

Society will leave you at drift if you so choose to. Well, is it really a choice? To exist or not exist. This existential living we all share is made of physical gestures, and silence can be considered one. Stay quiet for one, two, seven days, a month or years, and besides some confrontation here and there and sometimes an hysteric curiosity, you’ll be still existing, as you’ll be performing the act of living, even if in an absurd way to the eyes of the majority.

So he closed his eyes, and in pain, he focused in not existing. He focused in not being there, not owning anything, neither debts or forgiveness. He focused on nothing, on total emptiness of feelings. But the more his effort grew in forgetting who he was, the deeper his wounds seemed to get. He didn’t want to disappear. Life had great meaning and value to him, but he had lost his hope in belonging. Possession made sense but he couldn’t feel it without changing his breath and heartbeat. To belong, to own, to reveal… How could he embody what he could not feel?

Eyes closed, forgotten body, and the temperature lowers down, long spaced breaths…

Dear loved ones, now I miss you all. And so amazingly can I now admire your beauty, your energy. There’s so much more than our eyes can see. What an amazing world we inhabit. What a powerful, musically blasting world we inhabit. 

We claim so many things to be our vision, our path, even our misfortunes we claim to deserve them or slash Life’s appreciation for not having our expectations met. Where’s that non-existence that allows us to fully embrace and abruptly fall into that first womb, our real first birth.

Hey beautiful soul, you need to feel lost to find yourself. No one, even the wisest master, can ever tell you who you are. Only you alone can stretch your beliefs, put down your walls and fully embrace who you are, the deep, eternal soul you alone are in communion with everyone else.

Don’t be afraid to close your eyes. Nothing is ever lost. Just rebuilt, reborn, transformed.

Trust in your own nature, just as other animals do not question theirs. And don’t be afraid of revealing and sharing your own questions and doubts. Love only comes to those who willingly remove their arms and masks and share with their life partners what they believe or fear.

Show yourself in the mirror and to others, and let that hypnotic rhythm of being alive and drunk in Life take over your ego, your invented brain, created persona. You are an amazing deep blue ocean, silent deep rooted trees that dance with the wind. You are the solid warmth of the sun and the darkness of a sky bursting in an intense prestissimo rain …


To be really honest and real, you must, above all, feel.


Friday, October 20, 2017

Drafting through Life

How can one ever know this is the real deal, no last minute change, no shift in perspective, no recast, conversion of mind, view, way, feeling… that this is the Life you'll be remembered for. When it’s over?! You know, when you’re no longer around to talk with and the memory of your best features is all everyone can have from you.

Yeah, nothing ever stays the same, things change, and for some, or in some days, feels good that Life is so unpredictable. There’s some sweet surprises, there’s some cool “outpost” of who we can be, but, depending on your personality and life experiences, there can also be a lot of frustration towards this thing we call living.

We all feel the need for a purpose, for an interesting story, better yet, an interesting narrator. We don’t imagine ourselves becoming old, but we picture often who we will be like looking back. Deep inside each of us we dream of finding Love, finding words and actions that reveal who we are while being useful and recognised in the world (the simple world of our close ones is enough).

And so we keep trying, sketching in what way we can be closer to the right, corrected, evolved version of ourselves. Will that final version ever exist? Yes, we will find that final version of ourselves when we accept that our flaws are what makes us who we are, and with humility, we forgive ourselves and others, for not living always accordingly to what our thoughts, gestures and words say behind our back.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
_
Mahatma Gandhi

But, there’s this thing that, unless life shakes us up, very few get it, which is, Life has no experience trial mode. We’re born and we’re living it. This frustrating tendency of leaving for later what could be done, could be said, let go, keeps us in a constant draft mode…  It’s indeed scary to compromise in ignorance, but to keep being ignorant for the sake of not submitting that Life’s draft, takes us nowhere. Keeps us in repeat  mode, and eventually, as any old record that is heard only through the same track, we get scratched, never moving on to the next tune.

Over and over it’s hard to be fully present. There’re things we wanted to say, there’s ideas we want to share, there’s situations we wish we could change… and over and over we live overriding this moment, right now, with those wishes and fantasies, pretend talks and false projections, thinking that one day, we will manage to change from the draft version of ourselves, to a final complete one.

… well, we are, right now, right here, and where we will go next, no one knows.

So be present. Be you. Share what you’re scared off, share what you’re giggling about,  share your ignorance, staying present, being real. Stop being only a draft. Submit yourself to the world: I am.

" (...) I've got the world by the balls
Am I supposed to behave? (...)

It's easy to assume that you've built some rapport
With a someone who only likes you for what you like yourself for
Okay, you be my mirror but remember that there are only a few angles I tend to prefer
I'm only here to serve
"
_
Father John Misty

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Shortness of breath...

We listen over and over the powerful advice of living in the present, between inhales and exhales, focusing our minds in one specific task, be it breathing or really just grabbing hard any loose thought that tries to travel far. Supposedly this control will bring us freedom, freedom from rush, from stress, from ups and downs and consequent sadness.

Then we get out again, and we try to stay with that calmness inside. To continue not to be in any rush, with a constant forgiveness and understanding attitude… till you’re fired because they want someone more energetic, and still you force yourself into numbness/coolness, you don’t have any food or can’t pay the rent because you don’t have enough money, but if you stay in the flow of nothingness things will fall into their right place, whatever that is, and eventually you just end up having only the present reality, the breathe in or not breathe any more.

Passiveness leads into “whatever” and in whatever mode, we act disconnected, we act on repeat. Whatever is when we’re tired and afraid, and we’ve actually given up.

“Then I’ll imagine”, she said, that’s the only way I can feel myself happier. I’ll use imagination. “Ah, you’re wrong”, imagination can also lead you into reclusion and loneliness. What you need is reality. Pure uncovered reality. That’s where you need to be in and feel, reality. “No…” said another voice, reality is made by others and the reality they share comes from their own imagination. Reality is really just our own interpretation of the world. Even the most scientific views of the world, are projections of self ideas, individual bets of hypothesis…. “Well, then I give up!” Or better yet, I choose not to think any more. But isn’t that dying?… Isn’t it wanting, real curiosity that keeps us alive?

Pain keeps us alive.

We need pain to change, to question, to feel lost and only after, in survivor’s mode, we grab on to what can really bring us to surface. Our last instinct is too survive, but our first reaction to sadness is the opposite. We can live our entire life holding on to a well disguised pain, just not to let us fall… so, let go, fall face down, risk it. Scream if you have to, but give yourself the chance to be forgiven and to start again. Fall to get up! We learn to ride any bike, skate, hey, just walking, by falling down over and over. And when we were told that its was too dangerous, or shouldn’t have been done, we questioned it. With age and routine, we get more scared of reinventing and challenging our beliefs. But so many times we carry more pain for not having shared that scary thought, that scary choice, for not having taken the risk.

The unhappy person is one who has his ideal, the content of his life, the fullness of his consciousness, the essence of his being, in some manner outside of himself. The unhappy man is always absent from himself, never present to himself.
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Kierkegaard

To know ourselves, and feel what is, feel what we are, we can’t be the version for the easy listener, or the grumpy old man. We have to cry and we have to forgive, for after despair, the one thing left is possibility.


Saturday, October 7, 2017

Crashing Cars

Fui eu que escolhi, vesti o fato, tirei a prancha e caminhei até ao mar, mas os meus sentidos deviam de estar desligados. Não dei importância ao vento, não dei importância à quantidade de espuma branca no mar. Só no primeiro mergulho, quando a prancha resistiu e deu resposta a estar submersa é que acordei da alegria de ir surfar ao final de mais um dia. Mas tudo bem, a natureza mexe conosco e ás vezes até fere, mas a dor é ganho, é recompensada pela energia que ganhamos por estar com o vento. entre o mar e as nuvens. 

Escolhi ignorar, e é sempre uma má escolha, seja no ignorar das nossas vontades, sonhos ou a vez de outra pessoa. Ignorar é virar as costas ao que existe mesmo. Por isso posso chamar-me de ignorante, muito, porque viro sempre as costas ao que me dói, ao que traz tristeza, achando que não se deve dar atenção ao que nos magoa. É entrarmos em negação, e é nesse estado que a maioria de nós vive. Em negação com os seus sentimentos, desejos, mas mais importante, na semelhança com o outro que age de forma absurdamente diferente, mas foi gerado da mesma forma. Tivéssemos todos coragem de olharmos o outro e compreendê-lo, perceber que somos todos ignorantes no erro ou no certo dos nossos gestos. Com humildade repito as palavras de Sócrates, sem o final de superioridade, apenas a afirmação da ignorância, do saber que nada sei, que sei muito pouco de muito para saber.

E a Arte mente, mas às vezes só assim encaramos a Verdade.

Que pode um fazer quando a tristeza de não sentir um propósito pesa mais que qualquer distração? Vivemos todos num estado de constante arrependimento, caso contrário viveríamos como santos, em beatitude de anjo. Mas podemos abrir os olhos e perceber que somos herdeiros das nossas falhas, não das nossas escolhas. Que sabemos nós do destino para onde somos conduzidos. Vamos num carro sem destino, por vezes em excesso de velocidade, a passar vermelhos, a sofrer acidentes. As falhas são o ter pressa, o ser impaciente, o ser egoísta, o ser preguiçoso e escolher ignorar, o não tomar tempo para estar consigo próprio e conhecer-se.

The true and durable path into and through experience  involves being true … to your own solitude, true to your own secret knowledge.
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Seamus Heane

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