Friday, July 22, 2016

Our Life After

In search for a grandiose, beautiful and strong tree, where I could rest under and meditate, I've found so many infant trees, thin and small, striving to survive. All of them so full of potential to develop into what nature intended them to be and multiply.

Unfortunately I kept looking for that special tree, instead of nurturing the ones that I had found.

We go through life with the same attitude. Searching for perfection, for the best shelter but blind to see the inner beauty of everything we're so lucky to encounter.

We don't think that much about those old experiences until age or wisdom give us a broader perspective and we finally appreciate what Life is really made off, which is the path we walked, the people we encountered, the choices we made. We could have chosen to be generous or greedy; kind or bitter; open or afraid, whatever we we chose defines us.

But we have a spirit, which is free and non bodily. A spirit that has a home to come back to and where it's forgiven and embraced. So we are ultimately free from all the darkness and sadness that consumed our dreams. But we are here now. And now is when we can choose between giving Love or responding with Hate.

Over and over I wrote for us to choose Love, but seeing now from afar, I have chosen self love. Love for my actions, my words, my friends, my, my, my... so self centered, so narcissistic. Maybe that's why noone has really resisted to the ultimate selfies fashion. You see them everywhere, selfie sticks, selfie apps, self grandiosity.

This self that is undermined by an emotionally bipolar Ego. An Ego that runs from accountability and it's fast in blaming circumstances instead of itself, for the sake of an healthy self-esteem.

But man has found religion to calm down it's internal turmoil and impetuous nature, trying to address the problems of life and love, death and sorrow, the universe and our place in it, what it means to have an “I” and what the meaning of existence might be... and it all comes down to one word: GOD.

And even though we don't have the means to prove an existence of beyondness, we are also not capable of living without. We need connectedness, we need to be a part of, we need to be seen, touched, loved. No one is immune to loneliness or a warm hug. No one.

... so instead of searching for the perfect match, the perfect theory, the perfect circumstance, context, situation, let's search for the meaning in our gestures and ask for forgiveness, forgiveness for our ignorance but with the conviction that we are becoming better, and we are helping our close ones to be better. What do you really believe? And are you alone in that? If not, congratulate the ones that listen to you, care for you and in the same way that you make mistakes and learn from them, allow others to make their mistakes without abandoning them, being there to embrace them again. This is Love, this is Humbleness, this is being Wise.

"At one seminar where I was speaking on the concept of proactivity, a man came up and said, "Stephen, I like what you're saying. But every situation is so different. Look at my marriage. I'm really worried. My wife and I just don't have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don't love her anymore and she doesn't love me. What can I do?"
"The feeling isn't there anymore?" I asked.
"That's right," he reaffirmed. "And we have three children we're really concerned about. What do you suggest?"
"Love her," I replied.

"I told you, the feeling just isn't there anymore."
"Love her."
"You don't understand. The feeling of love just isn't there."
"Then love her. If the feeling isn't there, that's a good reason to love her."
"But how do you love when you don't love?"
"My friend, love is a verb. Love -- the feeling -- is a fruit of love the verb. So love her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?"

In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling. They're driven by feelings. Hollywood has generally scripted us to believe that we are not responsible, that we are a product of our feelings. But the Hollywood script does not describe the reality. If our feelings control our actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsibility and empowered them to do so. Proactive people make love a verb. Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world. If you want to study love, study those who sacrifice for others, even for people who offend or do not love in return. If you are a parent, look at the love you have for the children you sacrificed for. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values. Love, the feeling, can be recaptured.
In "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Monday, July 4, 2016


Only when we're alone, undressed from all the should's and must's, do we really find ourselves to be. Letting the world speak in its own voice and letting this deeper sense of yourself speak out. To lose our periphery, our ego, and let the vast untamed reality be us. To feel lost but found at the same time.

That's why we find it difficult to turn the radio off, or the television, or not look at our gadget — we're afraid to lose our sense of direction, purpose or meaning, but that's exactly when we find it.

We have so many allies in this world to bring us back the sense of real belongingness, unconditional belonging. Just today an amazing red sun, reflected in some gentle and playful clouds, no wind...


When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.
When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.
It’s time to go into the night
where the dark has eyes
to recognize its own.
It’s time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.
There you
can be sure
you are not beyond love.
The dark will make a home for you tonight.
The night
will give you a horizon
further than you can see.
You must learn one thing.
The world was made to be free in.
Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.
Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn
anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
is too small for you.

David Whyte

Can we really change? Transform?
It is said that transformational change occurs when our foundational understanding of ourselves and the world around us significantly shifts. A transformation occurs when we go beyond the bounds of our current understanding and awareness. We cannot think our way through this change; we have to experience our way into it.

When we are no longer able to change a situation,
we are challenged to change ourselves.” 
Viktor E. Frankl